What does closure really mean?
Do we get closure from events,
Events that have uprooted us,
Events that have changed us,
Questioned us, cornered us, frustrated us,
Left us crying ourselves to sleep,
Wondering and hoping with all our heart,
For this horrible nightmare to be over,
To wake us the hell up to reality,
But when the morning comes,
That void still remains.
The questions still remain..
What would our last conversation been?
What would I have said?What would he have said?
What should I would hold on to,For the rest of my life,
What should I fall back on,
When I miss him?
For that soft landing has, forever been replaced,
By the cold hard floor.
How should I console myself,
Tell myself it’s okay?
or it’s going to get better,
things will be go back?
Because it never will,
Life will never be the same.
WE will will never be the same.
Beaten for life,
Loose ends forever.
Left with nothing but the memories,
The what ifs and the unfulfilled dreams.
The ending of that chapter came
and I couldn’t say say good-bye!!
Couldn’t tell him how much I love him.
And how much he means to me.
left behind as remnants,
In the corner of my subconscious mind,
Surrounded by the fear it will slip away.
It has been three years,
I have re-written this many times...
but the emptiness still remains.
The trauma still lingers,
Showing itself from time to time,
Shattering me to the bare bones each time.
Grasping on to that thin life-line,
so I don’t drown too deep.
And every time swim back up,
take a deep sad helpless breath.
Push away the trauma and move on...
Only to face it again another day.
So NO, we don’t get closure
We learn to live on,
Forever with an open wound!